Onward -Elena Aguilar
“Between stimulus and
response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Wait for it...think about it
before responding ...never, in my vet teacher opinion, has there been a truer
statement. And this is where Ms. Aguiliar believes we build resilience in this
space. Do you agree? She goes on to state as educators, this moment between
stimulus and response is our most important opportunity. How do we react to the
multitude of exchanges, incidents, and interactions we have every day with
students, colleagues, and administrators?
Shared definitions
encourage clarity, according to our author, resilience is how we weather the
storms in our lives and rebound after something difficult. My definition is
similar but different- resilience is the strength to endure the suffering of
life while simultaneously savoring those moments of joys and connection. How we
respond. How we interpret. How we perceive an interaction-this is our source of
power, our source of resilience.
How do we build
resilience? One way is to understand ourselves better. It has taken me a
lifetime to know myself, just a bit. I had an open-minded, justice- fighting,
emotionally voracious, radically loving, and aware mother, but we are still
products of our setting, of our time and place. I grew up in a trying to be
integrated Chicago of the late ’60s and ’70s. A place where white women
were still expected to be nice and non-confrontational at all costs.
Knowing oneself was not the be-all or end-all of that era. But what was clear
to me after a childhood of privilege and with a mother of action was that if I
didn’t find my purpose, I would flounder. Being aware of these cultural
constructs helps me feel proud- patriotic about my sociopolitical identity and
values, but also helps steer me away from being a nationalist where I place my
beliefs and values above others.
Another obstacle to
knowing ourselves can be the dominant culture; it can be difficult to
distinguish between the ways the DC is influencing you and the influences from
parents, friends, teachers, etc. which you wish to absorb. Because of the
inequities, I saw all around me between women and men, between rich and poor,
between black and white, between home-owners and the homeless- I determined
that I needed to serve- as ridiculous as that sounds this is me being
vulnerable. This is why I am a teacher-oh, yeah and I like teenagers.
Knowing oneself is a
lifetime journey, and I do agree with the author that getting to know oneself
is the key to determining your purpose, your why. “ Purposefulness is a key
trait of the resilient.” Another way of building resiliency is understanding
emotions- knowing how to name and harness the energy of your own emotions and
other’s emotions. There are so many layers to analyze when talking about
emotions and building resiliency through emotional knowledge. Understanding the
cycle of emotions is helpful. Also, certain basic emotions could be examined in
detail, so as to gain a greater understanding. The author uses anger as
an example, “Befriend anger so we can understand it and use it.” When
considering anger or sadness, one may look at both and sometimes choose not to
be vulnerable and embrace the anger instead of the sadness that is just below
the surface. The author makes a plea for us to reclaim our emotions and use
them in our classrooms to empower students ourselves. How will we do this?
